Safer Sex for Lesbians and Bisexual Women

How to Protect Yourself from STDs and HIV?
Safer sex for lesbians and bisexual women is a way to protect yourself from contracting or transmitting sexually transmitted diseases including HIV and AIDS. But what exactly is safer sex? And how can you be sure you're protected?
First the disclaimer. If you're sexually active, there is no 100 percent protection against contracting a sexually transmitted infection. But there are some things you can do to make your play safer.

The best way to protect yourself from contracting a sexually transmitted disease is to keep your partner's body fluids out of your body. These fluids include vaginal fluids, blood, menstrual blood, breast milk, and semen.

Here are some low-risk activities:

Masturbation (only touching yourself)
Cybersex
Nipple and breast stimulation when not lactating
Erotic massage
Body rubbing
Kissing
Using a sex toy with a condom (be sure to use a new condom if sharing sex toys)
Cunnilingus (oral sex) with a barrier, such as a glove, dental dam or plastic wrap
Vaginal or anal contact with a latex glove

The following activities are Risky:

Unprotected cunnilingus, especially when a woman is bleeding
Unprotected rimming
Sharing sex toys without a condom
Sharing needles
Unprotected
fellatio
Unprotected penis/vaginal intercourse
Unprotected penis/anal
intercourse

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7 Reasons for Wearing Something Sexy for Your Mate

Wearing something sexy for your mate can be fun and it can be exciting. It also doesn’t have to be something that is overly complicated because many of the sexy things you can wear for your mate are in your closet or your drawer. It really doesn’t take much, especially since your partner is not concerned about the intricacies of what you are wearing, but more about what is underneath. Your partner wants to peel away the layers quickly and not have to spend a lot of time on the pre-sex logistics.
So when it comes to wearing something sexy for your mate, here are some things that you can do:

1. Ladies can wear a skirt with nothing underneath. The fellas can wear sexy underwear, such as leather bikini underwear. If you are not into wearing nothing, then barely something can be quite sexy.
2. Fishnet stockings can be very sexy. Slip on some fishnets with no panties and a sexy black dress or lingerie and you’re going to get something done in the realm of arousal. You’re going to have no problem making your partner squeal.
3. Ladies can sometimes wear just a flannel shirt or their partner’s favorite t-shirt along with a smile and panties (or none) in order to get the job done. Don’t expect the foreplay to last too long unless your partner just wants to savor the moment.
4. If you and your partner are going to be going out, wearing the best outfit you own is going to go a long way. You can wear those jeans that highlight your assets and that shirt that shows a little muscle or cleavage. If going out for a night of fine dining, that little black dress will make quite the impression.
5. Of course you can’t go wrong with lingerie. Wearing something sexy for your mate that is see through or shows just enough to encourage arousal. Lingerie is beautiful, so there is usually an emotional tug-o-war going on. One side of your mate says, “I really love how you look in this and could stare at you forever,” but the other side says, “I can’t wait to get this off of you.”
6. A man in just business socks, his undies, and a tie can drive their partner nuts. While men don’t typically wear lingerie or little black dresses, they can make good use of what they already have.
7. Knee high boots on women can drive men wild. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing them with a dress or if you’re wearing nothing at all.

Wearing something sexy for your mate doesn’t have to be overly complicated. Simply look at what you already have or take a trip to the lingerie store to find something. You could really make a fun shopping trip out of trying to find something sexy to wear and you can even use your imagination so you can use a combination of items to create an outfit that your partner won’t be able to resist taking off of you.

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Girl Talk: Dating A Bi-Guy

Emotional cripples. Religious zealots. Man-babies. My recent dating roster could serve as a police lineup of degenerates, liars, and serious letdowns. Naturally, I’m hypersensitive to red flags these days. So when a guy I’m interested in tells me that he’s a “bisexual,” shouldn’t I run? Perhaps. But once I got the initial panic out of the way (OK, I called my friend and frantically yelled, “911! 911!”), I let his confession marinate. Then I decided I’m not going anywhere. Or, if I do, it’ll have nothing to do with his half-gayness.

Granted, when the guy came out of his demi-closet to me, I didn’t know him very well. I’d met him a week or so prior, when I was in town from Chicago, visiting a friend of mine. Needless to say, I was a sucker for him right from the start. He’s completely and totally adorable, and sometimes even sports a newsboy cap (reminiscent of Christian Bale in “Newsies,” which has provided me with sexual fantasy fodder since 1992). He also happens to harbor a sweetness that many New York City guys seem to lack. So, we kissed near the bathroom at the bar, and then I took him home with me. 

He gave no indication he swings both ways. The bedroom stuff was hot. Really hot. There was neck biting and hair pulling. He was aggressive and self-assured, and not at all afraid of my girlie parts. For the record, if that’s half-gay, I’ll swing that way any night of the week. 

So when he told me the following week that he was bisexual, and that I’d have known that if I knew him in Chicago, I couldn’t help myself. Immediately, I felt rejected and like I’d been duped. It’s just that so many gay guys I know have started out by saying they’re bi. Catch up with them a year or two later, and there ain’t a girl in sight. He assured me that wasn’t the case, and based on my experiences with him, I had to agree: He likes girls. He likes girls a lot, in fact. 

I’m pretty open-minded. In some ways, I was disappointed in myself that I’d been so surprised by his bi-side. I don’t know if it’s because I’m obsessed with “The L Word,” but bi was something I’d mentally assigned to girls, not guys – and especially not to guys I was seeing. Ever since I was a teenager I’ve believed people aren’t wired to be gay, straight, or otherwise. I think anybody has the capacity to fall in love with anyone, and gender has nothing to do with it. And this guy? He gets that. That’s a really good thing, in my book. Also, he sometimes wears eyeliner when he goes out. Hello, Brandon Flowers fantasy.

To be honest, I’d never before considered it a turn-on to picture a guy I’m into making out with another guy, but there’s just something about this one. I’ve recently confessed to him that he’s like crack — and I’m addicted. (I know, I’m so romantic.) While most of this has to do with his entirely charming self, I think some of it can be attributed to the fact that in a short period of time he’s turned me on to a whole new way of thinking. He’s managed to surprise me, and that in itself is intriguing. 

Despite the advice I’ve received from some of my friends, him being bi is nowhere near a dealbreaker for me. I love how open-minded he is. If anything’s going to keep me from dating this guy, it’s distance — not his affinity for dudes. 

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How do people know if they are lesbian, gay, or bisexual?

According to current scientific and professional understanding, the core attractions that form the basis for adult sexual orientation typically emerge between middle childhood and early adolescence. These patterns of emotional, romantic, and sexual attraction may arise without any prior sexual experience. People can be celibate and still know their sexual orientation-–be it lesbian, gay, bisexual, or heterosexual.

Different lesbian, gay, and bisexual people have very different experiences regarding their sexual orientation. Some people know that they are lesbian, gay, or bisexual for a long time before they actually pursue relationships with other people. Some people engage in sexual activity (with same-sex and/or other-sex partners) before assigning a clear label to their sexual orientation. Prejudice and discrimination make it difficult for many people to come to terms with their sexual orientation identities, so claiming a lesbian, gay, or bisexual identity may be a slow process.

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What challenges do lesbian and bisexual women face in the health care system?

Lesbians and bisexual women face unique problems within the health care system that can hurt their health. Many health care professionals have not had enough training to know the specific health issues that lesbians and bisexuals face. They may not ask about sexual orientation when taking personal health histories. Health care professionals may not think that a lesbian or bisexual woman, like any woman, can be a healthy, normal female.
Things that can stop lesbians and bisexual women from getting good health care include:

• Being scared to tell your doctor about your sexuality or your sexual history
• Having a doctor who does not know your disease risks or the issues that affect lesbians and bisexual women
• Not having health insurance. Many lesbians and bisexuals don't have domestic partner benefits. This means that one person does not qualify to get health insurance through the plan that the partner has (a benefit usually available to married couples).
• Not knowing that lesbians are at risk for STIs and cancer

For these reasons, lesbian and bisexual women often avoid routine health exams. They sometimes even delay seeking health care when feeling sick. It is important to be proactive about your health, even if you have to try different doctors before you find the right one. Early detection — such as finding cancer early before it spreads — gives you the best chance to do something about it. That’s one example of why it’s important to find a doctor who will work with you to identify your health concerns and make a plan to address them.